I was undecided what my first post of 2025 should be about. There are so many exciting wellness trends I’ve been trying out and I’m keen to share as 2025 gets underway. But it came to me in the airport on my way back from our Betixmas break in Berlin. I felt so completely and utterly different starting 2025 to 2024. In a really good way. This got me thinking about why this was and if there was anything meaningful I could share here for anybody feeling similarly to me this time a year ago. After all, My Life Detour was borne out of a genuine desire to provide companionship, hope and a source of happiness to anyone struggling with the many challenges midlife can present.

It’s probably useful to reflect on where I was this time last year, should you be new to My Life Detour. I entered 2024 vowing to never enter another year feeling as I did at that point. I presume it was as close to rock bottom as you’d want to be. My mum died on 1^st November having battled dementia, and my younger brother had died only two years earlier. I hadn’t processed his loss, and my mum’s came on top of all that undigested emotion. We were also unfortunate in having a constant stream of viruses, one of which had my two-year-old son hospitalised in early December and the constant stream of sickness bugs continued up to Christmas and resumed again on Boxing Day. Battle worn and completely exhausted after the Christmas break, January was bleak and empty. I’d allowed the care of our children and domestic life to take over any career aspirations I had. I completed my PhD in law a couple of weeks before my eldest was born and following years of infertility and IVF treatment, along with a parent with fully blown dementia, I’d allowed myself to be consumed by domesticity. I needed to change things, even if the thought of that in January 2024 was comparable to trying to turn a tanker. That’s because when you’re feeling low, it’s not easy setting any change in motion, but if you really want it, you’ve got to firmly push on. It quickly became apparent there will be no change, unless you make it happen. And trust me, if I can do it, you can too!

The first thing I needed, and you may be the same, was something to focus on; a project that was just for me. As a result, My Life Detour came into being. My life had taken some serious detours, which weren’t fantastic. But I knew I couldn’t be alone in this and I was determined I was going to turn it around and share it. I knew others would be facing similar, if not greater challenges, and I really wished there had been a blog or somewhere to turn to for reassurance that it was all going to be ok! I love words, so a blog was a fit for me. Think of what you really love and build your project around that. You can’t go wrong.

After working out what my project should be, the second change I made came from an awareness that I had, for so long, overlooked my own wellbeing and wellness. It was always pushed aside for someone or something else, viewed as an indulgence, and a triviality. How wrong I was! The truth is, if you don’t look out for yourself and make yourself a priority, trust me, nobody else will. Everyone is busy and naturally consumed by their own agendas.

The reality for you is, while you may neglect your own wellbeing, if you’ve been through a traumatic or stressful time of any description, your mind and your body will have taken a hammering. And when this is the case, how can you possibly be your best and function optimally? It’s only when you stop and think about how you feel and look in the mirror that you realise it. After my brother died, I had quite literally aged years in a matter of months and my mind was scrambled. But with a young family, an ill parent and life continuing a pace, I didn’t stop to do anything to address this. I tried the whole, play the hand you’re delt and get on with it approach. While not wallowing is unquestionably in my personality, there is a complexity to us humans that requires a little attention. I’ve never been much of a talker, so I’ve never spoken to a therapist. But if you are a talker, make this your priority. I have friends who swear by it. They have acquired clarity on how they’re feeling as well as tools to process their emotions and thoughts, which can only be a great thing to help you build your resilience and look to the future. As last year unfolded, and I started writing for My Life Detour, I began to realise that thinking about what has happened and how I feel, and sharing it here, has helped me to work through, untangle and digest my emotions and thoughts. I had no idea my blog would have this therapeutic effect, but trust me it has. Writing has been my therapy. So, if you, like me, aren’t a talker, think about journaling. It’s an incredibly powerful way to process trauma and something you may want to try in order to find some inner peace, strength and clarity of thought.

However, in addition to journalling, my openness to, and awareness of the notions of wellbeing and wellness has opened up a whole world of experiences. From reiki to acupuncture, to meditation, light therapy and the power of scent, to name a few, I’ve come to realise there are so many wonderful ways to uplift yourself and build resilience when you need it most. I’d never have tried any of these had I not reached the bottom and needed to bounce. I’ve shared all of my wellness experiences on My Life Detour, and I have so many more to add this year. Some of these may appeal to you and where you are emotionally at this point in time. But, before you take a look, a crucial part in your wellbeing journey is giving yourself permission to make this a priority and not to see it as a frivolous indulgence. This unfortunately is probably the default position for us mid-lifers. It was for me for so long, but absolutely no more. After a year of prioritising my wellbeing and wellness, I now fully appreciate their value and importance in gaining strength, clarity and calm, and I’ll not overlook it again.  Nor should you!

The other change, which will happen this year, whether you like it or not, is time will pass. While I don’t believe time alone is a healer, it’s unquestionably a factor in more ways than one. By making the changes I’ve just mentioned, time has now started to help me to move on with my life in a hopeful and optimistic way. I have felt all the feels throughout 2024, and I haven’t stopped myself from doing so. But that intense emotional heartbreak over my mum and my brother is now behind me. Don’t get me wrong, I carry them everywhere with me and grief is an unpredictable thing, it can strike when you least expect it, in the most powerful of ways, but I no longer feel the weight of mourning. That’s what came to me in Berlin Airport. I felt, for the first time in over three years, a lightness of mood, spirit and self that I had totally forgotten was possible. I felt normal again and I can’t quite begin to explain the joy that came with that realisation. I had thought it was an impossibility to feel anything like that ever again. If you’re currently grieving, you will know what I mean. You think you will feel that heavy weight of all consuming sadness forever. But, trust me, you won’t!  I also realise you will struggle to believe that, but I can only pass on the changes I have made over the course of the past year and the impact they have had in moving my life forward. There is no reason to think that it won’t be the same for you.

The other facet to time, beyond being a healer of sorts, is the reality that our time is passing by too. In midlife, more of the road may be behind us than in front! That’s a sobering thought; a wake-up call. This is it! If you’re not loving the life you live, you need to change it and fast.  Don’t just settle for OK. Give some serious thought to where you want to be and how you want to feel in January 2026 and set the wheels in motion now. You can do it and you won’t regret it!

By making some small changes, which are achievable for everyone, I’ve found a love of life that’s been missing for so long. I’m genuinely enjoying the little things and once again appreciating the opportunity to experience them. For the first time in forever, I’m in no rush to fast forward through January into spring time. I’m going to squeeze out as much goodness from the first month of 2025 as I can.  That’s because with some small changes, I can once again appreciate that life is full of twists and turns, and that ageing is a privilege, which is so often forgotten. That’s not to say I don’t want to do it as well as I possibly can. I’m up to my neck in wellness experiments that I can’t wait to share with you!  So, if I can pass on anything meaningful, at the outset of a fresh year, it is this: give yourself a focus in 2025 that’s just for you and make yourself and your wellbeing and wellness a priority and you will be amazed by how your outlook will change. It’s a path to genuine happiness, calm, hope, ambition and optimism and they are a heady combination that make possible whatever you want to achieve.