While a broken bone was a possible outcome of our last-minute family skiing holiday, an emotional reaction that had me thinking about midlife crises wasn’t as predictable! By way of background, I’ve not skied in decades, despite having been a keen skier when I was younger. I grew up, life happened, kids happened and skiing didn’t! I didn’t miss it or even think about it. The last time I was in the mountains, I was newly pregnant with my first, trapped a nerve enroute and spent a miserable week watching Apple TV, taking paracetamol and icing my neck. Happy days, they were not. Fast forward to now and for the first time, possibly ever, I experienced a major sense of regret, possibly even panic, about missing an opportunity to do something that wouldn’t come around again. That is, living and working in the mountains. A massive chunk of my life had passed by since I was last actually on a ski slope. Quite literally decades. And this precipitated a very loud wake-up call! I felt more midlife than ever before. And by that, I mean, in that moment of realisation, I had this crushing sense that there really is no reverse gear in life. I had well and truly slipped from the summer of life into autumn and there was no next season to do it all again.

So, I have honestly never understood the term midlife crisis or why, usually balding middle-aged men, if Hollywood is to be believed, have them! That probably comes from being pretty happy with my lot in life. But there are certain things that are out with our control and can be a bit disconcerting. Like realising a phase in your life has closed. It’s basically getting older and feeling it! In my head, I’m still in the summer of life. In reality, I’m absolutely not! And the last time I was skiing, I had the whole of my life ahead of me. I wasn’t far off the age of the young ski instructors who are so energetic, and living their dream lives, connected to nature and apparently largely unencumbered. I found their lives entirely enviable! Like them, when I last skied, I was completely foot loose and fancy free. I was young and had no real worldly concerns. It was the summer of life and everything was possible. But I’ve grown up! And this is no longer the case. I have kids, and responsibilities and worries. And my body has aged! There’s no possibility of me moving to the mountains, skiing and taking every day as it comes, with a sense of wonder and delight about what the future holds! And I found myself really regretting not taking the opportunity to do something like they had, when it was a possibility. It was basically a sense of shock that I had transitioned to a new phase in life. A phase where not everything is possible. And it was this feeling that made me think, is this the sort of thing that can trigger a midlife crisis?!

But let’s get real here! This is it for everyone. All going well, we’ll move from spring to summer to autumn to winter. Every phase has its challenges, including summer. Back then, I’m sure you’ll agree, you were still adjusting to living in your own skin, experiencing life and feeling pressure to carve out a path for yourself. I also remember terrible periods of exam related stress, uncertainty about what I was going to do with my life, having the wrong boyfriends and worrying about one day settling down and having a family! I also doubt, being honest, that I would ever have considered, let alone actually packed up my life and moved to the mountains for a year or so. The reality is, no period is free of pressure, even when looked back on through rose tinted spectacles. Yes, I can no longer enjoy all the freedom and vitality of youth, but midlife, is actually a pretty fantastic time in life. Of course, there are stresses and worries and dramas you think will end you. But they don’t. You’re more worldly wise and resilient than at any other point in your life. You’ve also made connections with people who know and get you, and you’re wise enough to recognise and cherish them. If you’ve gone down the family route, you’ve come through one of the most incredible but physically and mentally demanding periods in life (raising a tiny human on torture levels of sleep deprivation). Now you get to enjoy the company of incredible little people who see the world with an innocence and wonder and enthusiasm that is mind blowing and intoxicating in equal measure. Also, you may be with your life partner, or be acutely aware of the qualities you are looking for in one. Or, you may have decided that actually, the single life is the perfect life. Because you now know you, better than you’ve ever done.

One of the primary catalysts for my temporary tail spin was the feeling that youth and possibility go hand in hand and you can’t have one without the other. That optimism and excitement about the future is the exclusive preserve of the young. But, after mulling this over, I was smacked in the face and overjoyed by the realisation that, if anything, the possibilities and excitement that I envied, absolutely exist in all stages of life. You’ve just got to realise that you want the challenge that comes with new things and you need to seek them out and bring them home! If anything, this is easier in midlife because you have resources and the stability to do it and the maturity to know that now is the time to make a success of it. Because this is an incredible time in life that we need to maximise!

So, all in all, if anything, my flashes of panic that the summer of life has slipped away, were the best possible reminder, that we should all make hay while the sun shines. Whether you’ve realised it, or not, midlife is an exceptionally sunny period in our lives. And we really need to savour and enjoy it. The biggest mistake would be to waste such an incredible time looking backwards at what once was and panicking about its passing. Midlife is as great a time as any for incredible growth; it’s unquestionably a period bursting with possibility and maybe even the most perfect time to reach for the stars. Because anything really is possible. It’s just a lot easier to travel when you’re looking forwards rather than backwards.