If you were to ask anyone who knows me, they’d say I love Christmas. Like, really love it. I struggle to walk past shop displays of decorations and not add to the mountains of baubles in our attic. Holly printed loo roll, Christmas soap, Christmas towels, diffusers, candles and trees in almost every room. There’s barely a Mary Berry Christmas recipe I don’t know by heart. Completely extra you might say! Just like my mum was and how it’s always been. It’s the most wonderful time of the year after all…or is it?

For the past few years, my love affair with Christmas has been on the fritz. As sleep deprivation, a parent with dementia, the loss of loved ones and a near constant stream of winter viruses were thrown into the mix, the magic of Christmas was slowly but surely being squeezed out of December and replaced with a feeling of dread. Never, ever did I think that was possible! But, at the best of times, life is crazily busy so when life is proving especially challenging, throwing in the expectation of the perfect family Christmas with all of the trimmings, can be the recipe for catastrophe. Christmas, I hate to say it, is reduced to one huge to do list; a box ticking exercise sprinkled with a healthy dose of stress and dare I say it, a little resentment. Resentment that you’re the one who has to do it all and deliver the coveted Christmas magic. Don’t get me wrong, when all is going well in your life, this is a truly wonderful responsibility. You can deliver magic by the sleigh full if you have the time, energy and resources to just dip your toe into the commercial white out that now is Christmas. The most pressing concern then becomes the colour scheme for the baubles, the tablescape, buying and preparing food to feed thousands, not to mention the mountains of gifts to be sourced and wrapped. But this really isn’t the reality of Christmas for so many because life has a tendency of being, well…life!

Trying  to deliver the  perfect Christmas, regardless of circumstances, has been my big mistake. It’s almost killed Christmas for me. Maybe it’s the perfectionist personality I’ve been plagued with or maybe it’s the burden of expectation and the fear of letting others down, that have ultimately driven this. But, with the benefit of hindsight, there are bigger issues that sometimes have to be dealt with and the true beating heart of Christmas; love, faith (for some), family, friends and merriment can thrive without all of the extra glitter and sparkle. There are good times and bad, and when Christmas falls in the latter times, we have to allow ourselves to adapt to deal with it. My mistake has been wedding myself to traditions that at times have been completely unrealistic. Life changes, and I’ve only just realised that Christmas has to change in line with that. If this means a slightly compressed version of the extravaganza you’ve always known, then so be it. When the time is right, Christmas can, and will, expand back to all its sparkly glory. Growing up, there will undoubtedly have been times when the Christmas margins were trimmed a little. But when the house is filled with warmth, love and maybe a present and a cracker or two, who actually notices or cares that the Christmas cake is from Marks and not Mary Berry or that Santa hasn’t been quite as extravagant as usual?!

With this realisation, for the first time in years, I’ve felt more than a flutter of excitement at the thought of Christmas. I’ve gone full circle from almost complete despair at the thought of delivering another Christmas, back to genuine joy at the thought of all it holds. The easing of some of life’s stresses has unquestionably helped, but I’m also making Christmas as easy as possible this year. The realisation that life is for living and has to be enjoyed has been a wake-up call. I don’t want to miss out on the excitement of yet another festive season, so I’m cutting the burden in half. We’re going out for lunch and I really can’t wait. I’m also contemplating not putting up our beautiful, but stupidly big, Christmas tree because it’s quite literally days and days of work to do so. Not much of that spells out fun, and that’s what I’m all about this year (I’ve got a lot of catching up to do!). It’ll be back next year! This Christmas I’m hoping to be as effervescent as a fresh glass of fizz and not as frazzled as a chipolata lost in a roasting oven. So really, what I’m trying to say is, if life isn’t playing ball, cut back Christmas to what feels completely comfortable for you. If you do, the magic will unquestionably find its way in, because, it’s most abundant at Christmas when you’re not so completely exhausted, stressed and distracted that you miss it! Merry Christmas all!